01.10.07
Your Spouse Is NOT Your Enemy
I know I have posted this before but I find these words so inspirational that I’m posting it again. Read the words and listen as they speak to you.
Your Spouse Is NOT Your Enemy…
Have you ever wondered who caused your spouse to walk away? Satan
binds people’s minds. He diverts their attention by instilling
wrong values and priorities into their minds; by suggesting to their
minds selfish reasons to reject the truth. He does this in the
following ways: by contrary suggestions, by argument of others, by
social pressures and distractions, and by a huge arsenal of other
weapons that he has to direct against people’s thinking.
From 1 Timothy 3:6-7, and also 2 Corinthians 2:10-11, we learn that
some of satan’s traps are pride, a bad reputation, lust of the flesh,
rebellion, and an unforgiving attitude. Some or all of these traits
will show up in your wayward spouse.
It is important that we correctly and thoroughly understand satan’s
control over people who are affected by him. Your spouse is not your
enemy; he or she has been deceived by satan. He does this in various
ways and to varying degrees, including: oppression, obsession, and
possession. Here again, almost all of satan’s influence over people
is actually exerted by demons, not by satan personally although it is
still satan’s work and he is responsible for instigating and leading
it.
So how has satan been working in your spouse’s life? One of the most
familiar and successful tactics is temptation. He is repeatedly
referred to as the tempter. He has tempted and deceived your spouse,
and if you are not careful he will do the same to you.
As believers, we must put on the whole armor of God, including
picking up the shield of faith, by which we will quench all the
flaming darts of the wicked one (Ephesians 6:10). We are instructed
to resist satan. We do not have to defeat him, Jesus already did
that.
The enemy has been working in your spouse through disobedience and
rebellion. Wittingly or otherwise, he or she does what satan wants
him or her to do. He knows how to manipulate them through their
personal desires, ideas, prejudices, and ignorance. He is “the ruler
of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who
are disobedient” (Ephesians 2:2 NIV).
Who would have ever thought that your spouse, this same loving spouse
who proposed to you or accepted your proposal and made those vows,
would turn around, after all these years, saying they’ve made a
mistake; telling you they don’t love you anymore, saying they want a
divorce, telling you to get on with your life and that you need to
start dating, saying “I am in love with someone else,” etc. Who
would have ever thought your spouse would be saying these things?
Your spouse said these things because YOUR SPOUSE HAS BEEN DECEIVED
BY THE ENEMY!
Satan is the wicked one in Matthew 13:19. In verse 23 and 28 he is
identified as the enemy. Bear in mind your spouse is not your enemy.
The enemy is called the adversary, the devil. Jesus called him a
liar and a murderer (John 8:44). He is the arch-deceiver and has
lied to your spouse.
To resist satan, we must “be sober; be vigilant” (1 Pet. 5:8). If we
are careless, we will not successfully resist the devil. Verse 9
urges us to resist him “steadfast in faith.” “The faith” is a
definite, revealed body of truth to be believed and lived. It is the
truth of God’s word.
My friends, if your spouse has walked out on you, this is enough
evidence that he or she is under the control of satan. We have been
praying for them to be set free from this evil. Paul declared that
God had sent him to declare the good news to the nations. “To open
their eyes, and to turn them from darkness to light, and from the
power of satan unto God, that they may return to their vows and
receive forgiveness of sins.” (Acts 26:18).
This is what we have been praying for. These prodigals are like
drunken men sleeping on the railroad tracks. Suddenly they wake up,
feel the ground vibrating under them, look up and in horror see the
locomotive bearing down on them. Immediately they jump up and dive
out of the way.
It is the same with these wayward spouses. Suddenly, their eyes will
open and they will return to their covenant spouse. Yes, they will
return, because greater is He who is in you, than he that is in the
world.
Finally, in spite of the power and authority that these wayward ones
give satan by yielding their obedience to him, he is a defeated foe!
DO not delay my friends, keep praying, DON’T GIVE UP. Marriages are
being restored. Get yourself ready, prepare yourselves, because
suddenly your spouse will awake from his or her stupor and will
return to you. Because, my friends, no weapon that is formed against
you will prosper. If God be for you, tell me, who can be against
you? Tell me, who?!
Be encouraged
Pastor Doreen
timbob said,
January 10, 2007 at 6:01 pm
Greetings. Timely posting and I,ll explain why it is for me. I was backslidden for a number of years and married an unsaved lady during that time. Three years ago, the Lord in an incredible fashion that I can’t quite explain, brought me back to repentance and restored the joy in him that I had neglected for so many years. My wife wasn’t fond of this and as you can imagine, trouble of my own making ensued. At more than one point, it looked as though our marriage would end. It hasn’t and I have had to learn to see the bigger picture on many occasions; seeing past the physical realm and seeing the soul in need of Jesus. My children are likewise in need of Christ. Last year, my wifes half-sister lost a battle with cancer. This has caused her to think about things and it’s more important than ever that I strive to walk in the Spirit and be sensitive to his leading. I don’t want to do anything that would scatter. I know that the Lord is working in the hearts of my family; even when I don’t see anything happening. This situation weighs heavily on me as you can imagine. You are completely correct in that the battle is fought in the prayer closet first and foremost as this is the arena in which strongholds are brought to nothing. Thanks again for sharing this.
Sylvia said,
January 25, 2007 at 7:02 pm
You are spirit filled! These are words I so needed to read! The Lord has lead me to your site. I am struggling in my marriage. My spouse and I are separated. I have given myself to the Lord, and have asked him to mold me. I gave my husband, and my marriage to the Lord. I pray day and night, night and day that my marriage be restored, and that my husband returns home. I am very grateful for your words of encouragement. There is so much information on divorce, and nothing to support those who will walk through fire to save their marriage. What you posted gave me so much strength and confidance. While waiting for my blessing from the Lord it is a struggle. I wait expectadly, patiently, and I am still. I walk in faith and not in sight. I will keep praying.
Thank you, and god bless!
Jimmy said,
February 6, 2007 at 8:36 pm
Thank you Doreen for these words of encouragement. I’ve been aware from the very beginning that my wife isn’t my enemy but satan does his best every day to convince me she is. These are words that we need to hear over and over again to keep our minds focused on the truth, and not on satans lies. I declare here and now that my marriage WILL be restored by the hand of God and there is no weapon formed against me that will prosper because greater is He who is in me than he who is in the world.
Thank you, and God bless you.
Nancy Walker said,
February 24, 2007 at 3:23 am
I ran across your web site because I have been walking in the fire to pray over my family. It is constant now and I so much want the body of christ to come to that place in the spirit when they are warriors for there marriage. We need warriors for marriage and family . I join with you in covenant . Let women and men arise over there families. Open their eyes. Cast the enemy away.Lord we repent for the idolatry and the many things that have infiltrated our life….
Brenda E said,
April 29, 2007 at 10:23 pm
I was up tonight, and as I was thinking about MY marriage, as I often do sometiimes. The Spirit took me back to a prophet, whom I had never met until one night at a store in the local mall. This event took place 4 years ago. I can remember the events that took place earlier that day before going to the mall that night. I was on a fast and I heard the Spirit speak to me so plainly. I received what the Spirit relayed to me and thanked God for answering my prayers. I praised him also. But that night when I went with my parents to shop for a suit for my father , THERE was the available vessel who had yielded himself to God for His purpose. It was surreal how he had spoken the very same words the Spirit spoke to me earlier. And the thing that touched me the most is he said I was SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY. I’ve always wanted to go back and inquire, but I have learned along the way that what God does for a period in your life, you receive it and don’t question it, if it has closure, rest assured that God’s will give it closure in due time. I came across your site by searching “Sleeping with the enemy” and it has really blessed me the more. I asked God years ago, what did he mean I was sleeping with the enemy. But I don’t have to ask any further because, again, he has heard my prayer. I thank you for posting your message, I can only imagine all the other lives it has touched.
Be Blessed and My God continue to fill you with the Holy Spirit.
Vivi Johnson said,
June 25, 2007 at 12:19 pm
I thank God that I came across this article. It really has blessed me. My husband left a few months ago. During the time before and after separation it was really hard because my mother dying of cancer. I didn’t believe make it. Those lies from satan. There were times when I was caring for my mother during her illness I tell God my heart. It hurt so bad to be loosing the two people I love the most. Yes, their were times my husband seemingly was like the devil, but I knew better. Your article has encourgaged me and given my hope for my the restoration of my marriage because I do love my husband and desire for our marriage to be restored, especially in this time of my grief over my loss. Everything I’m dealing with is a fact but according to God’s word it’s a lie, because satan is a liar and the father of them. God is in the restoration business. I also encourage Saints who read this band together in prayer and pray for marriages and families because satan seeks to pervert and destroy this special and precious institution that God created and through Jesus Christ we have authority of the works of satan. Thank you and God bless you!
Peechs said,
June 28, 2007 at 11:26 pm
Thank you for this most appropriate message. I was about to give up and give into my spouses request for a divorce. Eventhough I am a firm believer and understand the power of God. Those supporting me through this have encouraged me today not to give up but to remember that God is able. After reading your message I am convinced that God is indeed speaking to me and that I must stand and hold on to his promises.
So I continue to “walk by faith and not by site”.
Ramon said,
November 11, 2007 at 10:19 pm
Many, many times I’ve given up. Stopped praying. Tried to date, and all failed. The Lord just let my hidden love for my wife blow those dates out of the water. I’ve had to admit that I love her and it doesn’t matter what anyone thinks. G-d is on my side. I believe He rewards those who first seek Him. So I am now, more than when she first ran away, in prayer for her salvation, for her return to a Holy G-d. I know that all else will follow.
Thank you. Where can I go for more testimonies of restored marriages and especially I’d like to read about what the prodigal thought. Once I was in contact with her and I learned a great deal of what the Lord was doing in her heart and of how the enemy had her mind wrapped up in his lies. Now I rarely see her. I have to say it hurts. Having an echad relationship is like nothing in this world, it is blessed and holy and wonderful and to have that torn from your heart hurts, so now I lean on Messiah G-d.
Praise be His blessed name. I know he is, and I know that I shall be rewarded.
Blessings and Shalom
Ramon
audrey said,
November 20, 2007 at 3:27 pm
Please pray for my husband joshua we have been seperated for 7 months and he said he made a decison last week not to come home and the only thing that would bring him home is if God changes his heart. lately weve spent some good days together but all a sudden he drifted again. This women has a strong hold on him and Im beliving God to break it I constanly pray a Hedge of thorns and protection around him so that she will depart and reconile to her own husband. Please pray we have been married for 6 years and I love him I know God is able and im trusting help me pray God will saend all our mates home before the holidays which are sometime our most trying times. God bless you im hear to pray with anyone who wants to agree with me and fasting also. Email if you need to napwatkins@msn.com I thank God for finding this site and also rejoiceminstries.org will bless your soul and help you to stand. Lets Stand for God and Our Marriages Restored and Know that the Devil Is DEFEATED!!!!!!!!
Portia said,
November 28, 2007 at 6:58 am
Thank you for the wonderful healing words. My husband is filing for divorce since I am saved and born again, saying that we have different religions. I thanked God for his reasons and told myself to push hard more than before. I’m holding with faith knowing that one day he will come to know the truth. Before i read your website content I felt lazy and down not knowing what to do since its been so long I’ve been waiting for God’ s response. But now you saved my soul for being satan’s victim. I love him and he is coming back to me. GREATER is the ONE that is in ME than the one that is in him. DEVIL will not defeat me, not now nor EVER.
DaTrisha Caldwell said,
March 12, 2008 at 7:27 pm
I really enjoyed the uplifting and enlightning word from Pastor Doreen. God really knows how to bring a word of deliverance to my heart when I need it. There is no way you could have known the depth of what I had been going through and I personally thank God for your obedience to him. Please keep my husband in your prayers as he is currently in a wayward place. Sincerly, A sister of promise.( God has promised me that whatever he starts he is well able to finish!!! Glory!!!!)
gregory said,
March 15, 2008 at 4:10 am
Thanks for your word of wisdom. My wife is a church going woman,very busy. She never has time to pray at home. She always has a testimony in the public. She is often losing her bible and never take time for devotion. To ask her to pray is to frustated her. Pray for my marriage
betsy said,
April 20, 2008 at 6:31 pm
thank god for leading to this website all was written is true….god bless ur ministry .please remember my family life in ur prayers ur message is very correct iam going this situation.please pray for my husband to back to lords feet
luni.singson said,
June 5, 2008 at 4:57 am
I really thank God for leading me to this insipiring message which is so wonderful and worthwhile to read.May God bless your Ministry and you to be a blessing for many more people.
Phil said,
July 2, 2008 at 3:51 pm
Please pray and believe that God will turn my wife’s heart back to me! I will continue to believe and uphold our vows until death do us part. I know that in God’s time she will return to our covenant. Please pray that the Lord grants me the strength to endure the time (and pain) without her.
Jason Sheldon said,
September 12, 2008 at 7:28 pm
My wife & i have been separated for 4months.This is our second split in 9 years.Please pray for our marriage to be restored.She is a christian woman & knows this is not right.Ive made alot of mistakes since we got back together the last time . I ask for forgiveness from her &GOD.My situation seems hopeless.I have made it worse since we split with harsh words & accusations I didnt mean. Thanks.
cathyy said,
October 11, 2008 at 5:07 pm
My husband walkout and moved to another state with a lady he fooling around with for 4 months. He do still pay the bills for us but i want my husband back home with us. I pray that GOD will not let him divorce me. I also pray that his girlfriend will see that she is wrong for interfering with someones marraige. I pray that GOD will convict the both of them. I do not see how if GOD loves me soo much he would let them be happy at my expense.
Amy said,
October 20, 2008 at 10:15 am
Thank you so much for these words. I really needed to hear them today and it gave me the encouragement I need. My husband left me 3 months ago for the town slut. He is not her first married man, just the first nieve enough to leave his spouse for her. She has also had sexual relations with women. I know he cannot love her like he says he does. He tells me all the time that he still loves me and he does not know why he is doing this and that he is probably making a big mistake. And it’s like he is hoping that he will catch her cheating on him so he can end it. After reading your message I realize it is Satan making him do this. Please help me pray for my husband that his eyes will be open and he will realize what a mistake he has made. I still love him so much!
daveirrarcole said,
October 28, 2008 at 8:13 pm
Sounds like a very interesting concept! Sometimes I just have to go with my complicated collection A joke for you peoples! How do you circumcise a whale? Send down fore-skin divers.
TrgwRypcrlNjIZpItV said,
December 3, 2008 at 1:55 am
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Julie said,
December 9, 2008 at 10:26 am
Please pray for mu husband Simon and I who have been separated for close to one year now. I am praying for a Holiday Miracle and that God will save his soul for the Holidays.
Shelia said,
December 29, 2008 at 2:24 am
My husband and I have been married for four years. I have “begged” my husband to go to counseling only to find myself in counseling alone all “four” times! My husband has never acknowledged me as a wife since one week after our marriage. I am a “saved” woman and have never cheated on, lied too, or left my husband in any kind of shape, form, or fashion.
My husband has had many affairs with women during our marriage. It started 90 days into the marriage when my husband allow some woman to perform a sexual act on him. Since that day my husband has accused me of being guilty of having affairs. I have never cheated nor have I had a desire to cheat on my husband.
My husband and I lived under the same roof for nine months and we dated for almost three years prior to getting married. When I married my husband I had never expected that he would do something so tramatic to me. Too this day he seems to not care or have any remorse. He has expressed in the past that he wanted to get back together and let God lead him on his path. However, he has never stopped seeing or dating other women. After cheating on me with another woman he has continuously thrown other women in my face.
He recently stated that he wants a divorce and that he is dealing with someone else. My husband has never kept his wedding vows. He has also been very emotionally and mentally abusive to me. When he sinned against our marriage the first time I forgave. He is now engaged in another relationship.
My husband has never kept his vows and has always been very mean and evil towards me (unless he wanted to have sex). He has never spent valueable time with me and has always looked to people in the streets for his pleasures.
Would I be wrong to divorce him and try to find happiness with a differert Christian man? I wanted my husband to come back, but he refuses to get any help to assist him in becoming a faithful husband and respectful father.
We met when my son was ten years old. When “he” decided it was time for us to separate he told my son that he could no longer call him dad!
My son was devastated and did not talk for “2″ two days!
Although I want to “pray” for my husband he has left so many emotional scars that it’s difficult to pray for his salvation!
Please reply!
Sincerely,
Shelia
Tom said,
July 14, 2009 at 8:03 am
I come to you thanking you for this website. Let me tell you my story. My wife of 23 years sent me an e-mail in mid May that she wanted out of our marriage. I am born again, spirit filled but have struggled with anger issues and have had issues with pornography on and off but currently am experience freedom from this addiction. Additionally 19 years ago before I was saved I had sex outside of marriage, it wasn’t a relationship it was a one night stand type of thing and it came out about 15 years ago and my wife forgave me at that time.
The e-mail she sent told me she does not want to work on our marriage that she feels dead inside and no longer wishes for this work. I told her I wanted for both of us to get counseling along with marital counseling and I will do anything to save our marriage. In the midst of this I found out my wife has reconnected with a lost love from 25 years ago. They worked together and had a sexual relationship while he was separated from his wife and she has told me now that he is the only man she has ever really loved and that she never really loved me. I asked her to break contact with him which has been over the internet and on the telephone as we live 2000 miles away from him, thank the Lord. She said she would but then a few weeks later I found a private e-mail account where they have been expressing their love for each other, have expressed sexual desires and fantasies about each other and my wife even sent him a pair of her underclothing.
When I confronted her with this she broke down and left to stay with her mother and sister for a week about 200 miles away. She said she needed time to get away and think. She came back after a week and said she wanted to try to work things out and said she was going to break contact with the other man. I spent two nights praying for her as she sobbed over the loss of this relationship. In the midst of this time, I had to travel on a business trip and needless to say things fell apart again. She has now decided she does not want to work on our marraige and was only pretending when she said she wanted to try to make it work.
We both have access to each others e-mail account and at work one day I found where she was composing a message to me telling me she was going to resign her position as our pastor’s secretary and leave for her mothers house and she was not going to try to work on us. In the midst of this she went to stay with a sister in Christ for a week and decided after two days she was clear in her thinking and wanted everything over.
I drove to the church confronted her and called the Pastor in who prayed with us and we decided with his counsel that i needed to move out and separate for a period of time as if I didn’t my wife would file for divorce. We have two daughters both in college who live at home and it would be more stable for them to be home with their mother. I am staying with a brother in Christ and am dieing a little bit every day inside. I gave her back to God when I moved out and told her she is Gods now and He has to do the work in her. The Lord has shown me how we both have pulled back from Him over the past few years and not made Him the center of our lives. My wife is not seeking after God, she had her first counseling appointment this weekend and but is not willing to talk to me about it.
I say all this knowing that God is in control. The hardest thing for me to do is to trust God and to let Him move in my wife’s heart. She has had a very close relationship with God in the past but the pull of this man is very strong and she still belives he is the only man she has ever loved and is love with her. He by the way has been married and divorced 3 times and told my wife God has brought them back together.
Please pray for my wife that God would draw her back to Himself and she would see the truth. Please also pray this soul tie with this man would be broken by the power of the Holy Spirit and she would give our marraige at least an opportunity to reconcile.
Latreasa said,
August 31, 2009 at 10:20 am
I have been seperated from my husband now for the past 6 months. We have been married for 14 years. He is Haitian and I am African-American. From the beginning of the marriage, it was a struggle. Within the first year of marriage we fought like cats and dogs, literally!! I have sought the Lord about my marriage and believe that he is leading me to be back with my husband. Since our seperation, I now see how wrong I was for leaving. I left him out of anger and desperation. I felt rejected by him because he put the love of money over me and the children. He thought that material wealth was going to keep me. He was not trying to put forth effort in the marriage so I left. He began acting mean toward me and the children, verbally and mentally. He has been online meeting and sending naked pictures of himself to women on the internet. While I was gone, he even brought a woman and a child into my house. Someone whom he met online as well. I forgive him of this and hope that we can move on from this. I now realized that I should have just trusted God enough to see us through!!! I am so encouraged by this article and I thank God that my darkness has turned into light. The enemy has decieved me but I am believing God for my marriage and that my husband surrenders his life to the Lord. My hope is that we can establish trust and honor each other according to God’s word Please pray that God will restore my marriage and my family.
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