I’m sitting here tonight in the midst of confusion, both around me and within me too.  This thing with my uncle has me having thoughts and feeling emotions that I know I shouldn’t be.  Everyone has been on edge about the whole situation and I’ve been the only one thinking clearly about it.  Like last night, something so obvious and no one put two and two together until I told them what was about to happen.  But today my mother said something that just got to me.  She was talking about how he was feeling a deep hurt and talking like he has a reason to kill himself, like that pain is too unbearable to live with.  What about me?   I have had to live with that unbearable pain for two years now.  They wouldn’t let me do anything.  But no, she acted like it isn’t the same for me as it is for him.  She said but you have made it this long, like that made it easier for me.  I don’t think so.  Time doesn’t heal some things.  But GOD can.  And will.  See, I shouldn’t be having these feelings of bitterness and I guess it’s jealousy.  Instead I should be thanking the LORD above for doing all that HE has and is doing for me and my marriage.  Who knows, maybe my stand and faith and trust will help to influence my uncle and show him what GOD can and will do if we just ask.

My day has been pretty uneventful, well other than all the drama from the situation with my uncle.  I think someone should report him as being a threat to himself.  I tried but they took the phone from me.  Sad to say it but I see them at his funeral saying “If only we had let her make that call.”  I hope and pray it doesn’t come to that but if someone doesn’t do something, and soon, then it will.  My uncle is in his own way screaming out for help and either they just aren’t hearing or they’re too afraid to do anything.  Or it could be that they are just all cowards or don’t care……..

So here I sit making proably my last entry of this year.  I might be inspired enough to write something else later today though.  Last year for New Year’s Eve as the ball was dropping I was writing a letter to my husband describing an imaginary church service that he and I and Christian were attending.  I don’t want to have to not be with him again.  But it’s worse this time because he isn’t even talking to me right now and according to some he hates me and never wants to talk to me again.  I don’t think that’s true though.  I hope and pray it isn’t.  If it is the least he could do is tell me.  It’s not like he can’t talk to me or anything because he can, Christian says he just doesn’t want to.  But again, I don’t believe that.

GOD is taking care of it all for me.  I just have to keep remembering and trusting in HIM.  Thank You, GOD!

Goodnight Christian and Wally.  I love y’all!

Gosh, it’s hard to grasp the idea that yet another Christmas has come and gone already.  Where did it go!? 

So how did everyone’s holiday celebrations go?  Christmas for me was actually great, shocked me because I had imagined me sitting here all day trying to put on a happy face but dying inside.  But thanks given to You GOD Christmas was great.  I didn’t go anywhere, just stayed here and played with Christian all day.  He loved his presents, especially the big, red firetruck.  Ya know, I think he hasa got a new firetruck every Christmas so far, excpt for maybe the first.  When he had ripped enough paper off though to see what it was he yelled out so excited “just what I wanted”.  I love watching his eyes when he is all excited.  Pure joy!  As for me, I was happy just being with him.  I was sad that we weren’t with Wally, all together, like we should be.  But ya know what, all that sadness quickly wdnt away when Christian called before he left on his way here.  He called to tell me that he had a surprise for me.  He said he wouldn’t tell me one of them other than it was wrapped in red, but he said “what have you been wanting”.  He finally told me that his daddy was sending me a necklace that he had made for me.  That really brightened my day.  I told one of my sisters and she said I had gotten a Christmas miracle.  Thank You GOD!  But the day got better.  I had it tied around my neck and guess what, it smelled like him.  Isn’t it fascinating hwo after two whole years I still recognized and remember his smell!  So true, we weren’t together for this Christmas physically, but emotionally we were.  I know my love was with him and I’m pretty sure his was with me as well!  Praise Jesus!!!!!!!

I’m gonna cut this short for tonight.  I would like to ask though for everyone to keep my uncle in your prayers.  As far as I know he is planning to kill himself, please pray for him to see that his death isn’t the answer to his problems.  He is crying out for help, whether he knows it or not.  Even to me and he and I don’t get along most of the time.  Pray that if he does go to where he is planning to go that GOD will somehow speak to him and let him know that all he has to do is give his burdens to GOD.

So good night everyone.  Sleep well.

Goodnight Christian and Wally.  I love y’all!

SIGNS OF STANDING -

“Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in
the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and
teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely
I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Matthew 18:19-20

Do you remember when you contacted Rejoice Marriage Ministries for the first time? If you did so online, one question asked was “Referred By,” followed by a list of options. No response to that question thrills my wife like “Billboards.” That usually means God used a sign by an Interstate highway to suddenly speak to another person in a hurting marriage.

The Rejoice billboards our family passes most often are 300 miles north of us, on the Florida Turnpike. The Lord gave us the perfect location for both northbound and southbound billboards, directly beside the northernmost toll plaza. Every vehicle on the Turnpike must stop, or at least slow, down beside the signs that proclaims in letters almost three feet tall; “There’s Hope – God Heals Hurting Marriages.”

The location’s traffic count show that 28,300 vehicles pass those two back-to-back signs every day. That means over ten million cars will pass “There’s Hope – God Heals Hurting Marriages” this year in Florida alone. We thank God that over two years ago, He allowed us to lease these high-visibility billboards that once advertised for Disney, but now proclaim God’s message for hurting spouses and broken marriages. There are also Rejoice Billboards in Missouri, Texas, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, Georgia, Louisiana, Missippi, Tennessee, and and Washington State.

Our billboard project began several years ago, when God gave my wife a word to “proclaim” while we were traveling I-24 through Tennessee. By nightfall, we had rented our first billboard. Since then, we have used billboards, bus benches, radio, newspaper ads, and many other ways to proclaim the truth that “God Heals Hurting Marriages.” My wife’s vision is to have at least one billboard in every state.

What do billboards do? Not much, really. They simply stand. Say, isn’t that what you are doing? The bottom line is that you and the billboards are both proclaiming that “God Heals Hurting Marriages.”

One of the truths that keep my wife and I on track is knowing that other people are watching us. If we fail, we open the door for them to fail also. The same is true of your stand for marriage restoration. People are watching you that we will never meet. Our life will have no impact on them, but your life, and your stand, will.

I do not have the words to express how significant your stand with God for marriage restoration can be. People are watching what you do, and will make decisions in their own marriage based on what they see in you. During the years, we have heard of pastors who totally changed their thinking, their counseling, and their preaching, because of the conviction of the Holy Spirit, by observing one lone stander in their congregation. Counselors have awakened to what the Bible says about marriage and divorce, because of the faithful stand of one individual.

Before you can utter, “I don’t influence anyone,” please allow me to remind you about some people. Whose example will your children, grandchildren, nieces and nephews follow when marriage trouble comes to their home? What about your co-workers? Your friends? Your neighbors who have noted the absence of your spouse? What else are they observing? What are your church friends seeing? What are they hearing from you? What are your church leaders observing? What does the postman see being delivered to you? What does the garbage man see being discarded by you?

Do you realize the place of influence God has you in right now?
Yes, you. Yes, right now. Regardless of location or vocation, if you are listening to God, and following His will, you are in His place of influence right now. You have been planted where you are so that you can stand as a witness to others about what God can do.

The accounts of standers in places of influence are too numerous to mention. In Washington, a coffee shop waitress who used to hand out copies of “Charlyne Cares” to some regular customers at the drive- thru window, (I said “used to” because she has a new job now that her marriage has been restored). We know of standing police officers who minister to spouses on some domestic calls, as does a magistrate.
(By the way, his marriage is now restored also!) There are standing radio station staff, many standing pastors, standing nurses, and standing teachers who can understand why the unruly child in their class is acting out. Standing lawyers can be first responders to a hurting marriage, as are our standing doctors and dentists. The standing file clerk in an office can minister hope and help, in the name of Jesus, to a divorcing employer. The standing repairman or handyman has many opportunities, right inside someone’s home, to speak a word about what God is doing in their own life.

Charlyne’s favorite example of standers in places of influence would have to be the stander who works for a billboard company. There is now a Rejoice billboard in his community, near the courthouse, where divorces cases are heard.

Did you know there are some people who we have to ask if they are still standing? One week they are standing strong, but the next week a storm blows into their life, and the stand is over. Their stand needs to be like the billboard; standing forever. A big storm may being a setback, but it does not affect the end result of their stand, nor of their witness for Christ.

When we drive up on the Florida Turnpike, we do not have to wonder if the Rejoice billboards are still standing. We know that they will be. Two years ago, when three hurricanes hit the boards, one side was destroyed and the other was blown across the pasture where it stands. Within a few weeks, both signs were “standing” again.
During this week between two holidays, a few people are saying, “This hurts too much and the storms are too great. I give up!” If they give up, they are forgetting two things:

(1) Who is going to be praying for their prodigal spouse if they stop praying? Whose prayer covering will be over their mate’s sinful condition. Will your beloved ever reach life eternal without the prayers of a covenant spouse?

(2) Who will stand in your place of influence if you give up? God has everything worked out to have you right where you are today.
Why would you say, “No thank you?”

It is not my assignment, nor is it Charlyne’s, to twist your arm and attempt to convince you to continue to stand for a prodigal spouse.
The Holy Spirit will bring His conviction without our help. It is our responsibility to make certain that you are viewing your position of influence to others correctly.

If a big storm has just blown through your life, be like Chet, our Florida billboard man, and get the sign of your standing up again, with God’s help, as soon as possible.

People who pass our way, on the Florida Turnpike, just like people who pass your way, need to hear that “God Heals Hurting Marriages.”
May we all continue to proclaim until Jesus comes.

“Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. And
pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so
that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in
chains. Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should.”
Colossians 4:2

God bless,
Bob Steinkamp
Rejoice Marriage Ministries, Inc.®
Post Office Box 10548
Pompano Beach, FL 33061 USA
http://RejoiceOnline.org (Ministry)
http://StopDivorce.org (Bookstore)

P.S. You may know that the billboards are Charlyne’s favorite project. Her vision of having at least one billboard in every state has not diminished since God gave it to her. If you are looking for an end of year cause to invest into, I commend her billboard project to you. You can get specifics about helping to sponsor billboards by sending a blank email to – sign@rejoiceministries.org

Photos of the existing billboards can be viewed from -
http://rejoiceministries.org/photos/thumbnails.php?album=22

Contributions to the Billbord Fund can be made online from -
http://stopdivorce.org/Index.php?viewCat=11

- – - – -
Rejoice Stop Divorce Bookstore has over 100 books and tapes to help you stand for marriage restoration God’s way – http://stopdivorce.org
- – - – -

I want to share something that a ministry leader posted today.  Read her words and take them to heart tonight.  I know that I’m not alone in this struggle and war with satan for my marraige and perhaps someone who reads this is dealing with the same thing and this lovely lady’s heartfelt words can inspire yet another stander in the battle for glory.

It is Christmas, has been for 5 minutes already.  Happy birthday to you, Jesus Christ!

I hope you all have a glorious day and during all the celebration don’t forget what the true meaning of today is.  Today is the day that our King and Saviour was born in a stable in Bethlehem.  Everyone remember to take time out of your festivities to give thanks to our GOD for sending HIS son for us that our souls might be saved.  And give thanks to our beloved Jesus for living and dying for us all. 

I love the smell of a newborn baby.  Their eversosmall hands and feet and prescious little baby faces.  This day all those years ago our Jesus was that small baby.  I wonder what he looked like.  I wonder what his cry sounded like.  I wonder if in his little baby mind he new that one day I would be sitting here wondering about him and that it was thanks to him that I’m here now.

Good night to all.  GOD bless each and every one of you.

Goodnight Christian and Wally.  Merry Christmas!  I love y’all!

You know, this may help to encourage you some, or at least give you a different outlook on things. I was reading this morning and some things really hit me. Actually it started stirring in me a few days ago as I continue to contemplate the events of Christmas.
First what hit me was Mary. Marry was called to give birth to the Son of God. And, for the first several months, she was able to handle it. The ridicule, the misunderstandings, the accusations, the whispers, and even rejection. But step by step, God seemed to give her the strength to continue, making a way for her. But then, there was the decree by Caesar Augustus that all of Israel should be taxed — they had to embark on a journey at the worst time ever … the time close to her delivery.
Here she is with Joseph, traveling through the land on a camel. If you remember what you felt like right before you had your first baby, you were miserable! We all were! We are huge, cumbersome, swollen, uncomfortable, achy, bloated, and feeling the burden of a full-term baby who had dropped into the birth canal. Now, imagine yourself getting on top of a camel and plodding along for hours with no relief. Then, imagine the onset of labor pains knowing they couldn’t just stop for her to have the baby – they had to make it to Bethlehem to pay taxes.
Her body, screaming out in pain but hesitant to say much – she didn’t want to bother Joseph too much—he had been so good to her to watch over her and care for her. Trying to silence her pain, the contractions continued to escalate. Each step the camel took seemed to amplify the pain. The muscles in her body were burdened with the task of giving birth while they plodded along through the night. In fevered anguish they finally reached Bethlehem only to find there was no place for them. Trying to avoid panic, she kept her silence while her beloved Joseph would surely come up with a plan. There wasn’t much time, she knew that. She could feel her time was close. Her water broke and there was no waiting.
Joseph came back with the news … she would have to give birth in the stable in the back of the inn. No bed, no midwife, no clean linens, no one to help. She was all alone. Although Joseph was her husband, they hadn’t been intimate—could he help in the way she needed him to? Afraid to take advantage of his goodness, she kept these things silently in her heart.
The stable stunk. Animal dung, damp straw, only a feeding trough to substitute as a cradle. This? Was this what God intended for His Only Begotten Son? Surely not! He was to be a King! It shouldn’t be like that! He should be born in a palace, not a stable! All the other girls her age married and had their babies in their homes with the local midwife and their mothers nearby. They had fresh linens too! But, no! Not Mary! The chosen mother of the Son of God. The favored one. The one God called to such a glorious appointment! Something wasn’t right!
But, it WAS right because in it is a lesson for us all. We may be called to a glorious calling, but that doesn’t make life easier. What it DOES mean is that regardless what happens, no matter how painful, no matter how others seem to have it so easy, no matter how wrong it appears … God called us. He called us to serve Him whether through our marriage stand or whatever He called us to.
But He’s asked us to put it in perspective when considering Mary’s plight! Her’s was a most glorious calling and yet what she was called to go through was incomprehensible! We rarely stop to think of the facts—instead, we see some romanticized story of a young couple so deeply in love peacefully transversing the desert in the midnight hour. We don’t think of the pain, the discomfort, the emotional trauma wondering why all this was happening to her. We fail to consider the cost of her calling and how our callings are parallel to hers in so many ways. We may not be giving birth to the Son of God, but we’re giving birth to a Promise of God—the promise that He will make a way when there seems to be no way, the promise that He will take what the enemy meant for destruction and glorious outcomes that bring Him glory.
Jer 17:7-8 … “But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.”
Bear fruit, Mavis! Be like that tree planted by the water—you’re rooted and gounded in the Lord. Your confidence is in Him. Do not fear during this time “when the heat comes” but let your leaves remain green. Refuse to worry in this time of drought! You WILL bear fruit—the Lord has declared it!
Praying for you this Christmas Eve. Don’t let the enemy trick you into believing circumstances. Believe the Word of the Lord! Circumstances lie but the Word of God is FOREVER settled in heaven! Amen!

I wanted to complete a thought I failed to finish earlier … the point of all that with Mary is that her travail, as difficult as it was, led her to a glorious VICTORY! The birth of the Son of God.
The point is that no victory — not TRUE victory — ever comes without the travail, without the birthing process. Your challenges right now are part of the birthing process of the promise of God.
What if Mary had jumped down off the camel before they got to Bethlehem saying she just couldn’t do it, that she just couldn’t go on, that the calling was much too difficult? In fact could she have done that? Probably not! God had appointed her to a sure victory — although she didn’t comprehend the personal cost, by saying, “Be it unto me according to Your will” set in motion a series of events that led to ultimate victory –the birth of the Holy Seed within her.
You have a “Holy Seed” planted in you. Your travail is hard and your calling is a difficult one. But no matter how hard it gets, God is leading you down this path to victory — it’s appointed to you right along with the pain, agony, and discomfort of travail.
Once you accepted God’s call to stand for your marriage, God set you on a path. There’s no backing out. Even if you decided to go on with your life, you are still the bearer of a “holy seed” that MUST be birthed. Leaning on God, trusting Him to guide you and lead you through the wilderness will lead youin the path that leads to victory. Any other path you choose will prolong the travail. But you can’t escape God’s calling … His gifts and callings are without repentance — irrevocable! God doesn’t change His mind. Don’t let the enemy talk you into backing out of your calling. Give birth to that “holy seed” so all of heaven will glorify God as His plan is manifest in you and through you.
Praying for you this Christmas — the memorial celebration of the birth of the Holy Seed. Make a decision — a commitment — to allow the “holy seed” planted in you be born regardless how hard the labor pangs become. You’re appointed to victory … that God may be glorified as His will is perfected!

It’s already Christmas Eve, wow!  Man, it seems like only a couple days ago it was Christmas last year.  And the Christmas before seems to be only a memory ago.  I hope all of you have a good day and happy festivities.  Try to have a little extra fun for me as well.  And remember what this holiday is all about, Jesus Christ.  HE is the reason.

I don’t know for sure how the next couple of days are going to go for me.  With GOD’s grace though all will be good.  I had a dream a few months ago that I took as a message from GOD, a promise, so I am holding to that hope to get me through.

I wonder what Wally is doing this holiday.  I do wish he was here with me, or me there with him, or somewhere, anywhere, together.  But nonetheless, I hope he is happy and has a very merry Christmas.  I pray he knows that I’ll always love him, no matter what.  I hope he is healthy and happy today and tomorrow.  If I could give him one gift from me, it would be love, because without love nothing else matters.

I can’t wait to see Christian Christmas morning when he tears open all of his presents here.  I hope he likes them all.  There is no greater gift one could recieve for this holiday than the joy seen in our children’s eyes.  The wonder and the amazement that is brought to life when they see all the bright and wonderful presents.

If I could have one thing all I would want is for my family, my husband, son, and myself to be together at last.  The only thing better than seeing a child happily opening presents on Christmas morning is to be able to share that experience with the people you love the most.

Goodnight Christian and Wally.  I love y’all!

Wow.  For the first time in history I do believe I went shopping and was home at something after two.  And no, not two at night which is the norm for me but two in the evening.  Didn’t buy hardly anything for myself though, other than a few eyeliners, lipstick, and hair stuff.  I do gotta say I think I bought too many toys.  There is for sure a five year old who is going to be very happy Monday morning.

I also got something for my mom, bronzer stuff, and my little sis, the smell good bath stuff.  Not sure that I’m gonna be seeing her anytime soon though.

I am so tired here tonight.  Last night I think I might have slept a total of maybe five minutes.  So good night to all my readers.  GOD bless all of you.

Goodnight Christian and Wally.  I love y’all!

I wonder where I’ll be this time next year.  I wonder if I’ll “be” at all.  Last year I had an idea of where I hoped I would be but as I sit here now and ask myself that question I have no idea where I’ll be.  Isn’t it amazing how much can change in a year and at the same time isn’t it even more amazing what can not change at all.  I’m not even sure as to where I “hope” to be in a year.  Of course I hope to be with my family, happy, safe, and together but as this year draws to an end it is sort of like for the first time in my life there is no end to the possibilities that the next year might hold for me.  In a year it is very possible that I will be independent with a well paying job and in a home of my own and possibly nowhere near here.  Wouldn’t that be awesome!  And then there is the possibility that I’ll have my little boy too.  Then there is the possibility that I could still be in college in a dorm somewhere with some new friends.  And the possibility that I hope for the most, I could be with my husband somewhere in WV, my little boy not only with me but also with all the other people that he loves, happy.  My little boy needs me right now to help him with school.  I realized that the other night and was in awe because never before have I felt like someone truly needs me.  I guess this is something that only time will reveal.  GOD is the only one who knows what our futures hold and for us it is nothing less than a total mystery.

So in an attempt to get more readers I am going to be asking questions here and there hoping for feedback.  Tonight the question is where do you see yourself a year from now?

Goodnight Christian and Wally.  I love y’all!