I’m supposed to write about something I’m thankful for tonight. But I’m having another one of those days where it is hard to think about anything to be thankful for. I am gonna try though. So here goes.

I am thankful for my son and the joy that he gives me when I see or talk to him. I don’t see him near enough, but when I do that happiness is immeasurable. I am thankful for my sight that allows me to see his radiance, my ability to hear his sweet little voice, my sense of touch so I can feel his little hands holding to mine, my sense of smell that allows me to smell that Christian scent that no other has, and my ability to speak which allows me to tell him I love him. I am thankful that he is an energetic, healthy young boy full of life, love, and dreams. I am thankful for every moment that I’ve spent with him, ever from the time he was still inside me. I am thankful that he is safe and warm and doesn’t have to go hungry. I am thankful that he has grandparents that also love him so much. And thankful to be able to be at ease when I don’t see him knowing that he has a grandmother who would stop the earth from going around the sun if she had to to keep him safe and a grandfather who will do everything in his power to make sure he never wants anything and doesn’t get it. I am thankful that he is smart and has a want to learn. I’m thankful for the little songs he sings for me, the little dances he does, and every little joke he tells. I am thankful that he wraps his little arms around my neck at night. I am thankful that I make him feel safe. I am thankful that I can give him comfort. I am thankful that he is able to be open and tell me about stuff. I am thankful that he knows I’ll never hurt him. I am thankful for his gorgeous red hair and thankful for his bright blue eyes. I am thankful for him having the faith he has and his want to know more about Jesus, GOD, and the Bible. I am thankful that he knows he can ask or tell me anything. I am thankful for his ten fingers and ten toes, his ears, his arms and legs, his cute little “Hurt” nose, and even his “daddy’s” cute little belly button. I am thankful for the confidence he seems to have in me. I am thankful to GOD for letting us take care of one of HIS children while on earth.

I am thankful for the unconditional love that I feel for Christian. I have always known that I love him but until about two years ago for some reason I didn’t know just how much. Or maybe I did and was just afraid to admit it to myself for a while. Anyway I am honestly thankful that things with him happened the way they did. Because if they hadn’t I might to this day not be letting myself admit to how much I do love my son. I am thankful that for the past year and a half, all in all, he has been happy and well cared for. I am thankful that he is in a place where he is being taught about Jesus. I am thankful that he is being taught to pray and that when he does GOD hears him. I am thankful that he is in a place where he is being taught about the importance of family and love.

So, I am thankful for Christian, my son, the power behind my heartbeat. I am thankful for everything about him. I am thankful for him holding my hands to feel me close when he falls to sleep. I am thankful for him getting comfort from playing with my hair. I am thankful for each and every time he puts his hands in my hair while he is asleep. Even the funny things he does. For instance, ever since he was tiny, rolling through a store or somewhere with a lot of people or sometimes just watching television he has put one of his arms down my shirt. I guess he gets some kind of comfort from it. I remember him being about a year old, going through a store and I would notice it and always say in a funny accent “get yo hand outta my shirt” and he would laugh and laugh and still does. I’m thankful for those memories. I am thankful to be able to give him whatever comfort it is that he gets from that. I am thankful for his adorable little laugh. I am thankful for every memory we have ever made together and hopefully for the ones that are yet to be made.

I am thankful to know, if nothing happens, he will be with family having fun and eating turkey and everything else Thursday.

I love my son more than anyone or anything. GOD above knows I do. Thank you, LORD, for my miracle child. I am thankful for every little thing about him, from his “donkey butt” chin that he got from me hehe, to his eyes that light up in amazement when the toys come on tv commercials and I hear I want that can I have it, to the feel of his breath when his is asleep beside my face, to his heartbeat that I listen to so often, even the soul filling his body. Thank you, GOD.

One more thing to write that I’m thankful for tonight. I am thankful for my dreams. I wish they were more reality, but nonetheless I am thankful for them. Last night I had a dream of doing something with Wally is so special to me and I cry many nights afraid I’ll never get to do it again. An no, it’s not what you are most likely thinking. At night while in the bed sleeping we would hold hands. It is so hard now knowing his hand is there. But last night I dreamed we were in bed and I reached over and we locked our hands. Thanks GOD for that dream.