Okay, first off I want to give a special thanks to Jan, the leader of Women of Passions, for giving me permission to add this which is from the ministry website to my blog. I know there are others out there going through this with me, and though it be different circumstances for us all, GOD is the same GOD for every single one of us and HIS WORD is also the same for one as it is for the other. Everyone read this. If you’re praying for restoration of your marriage or not I think it will help us all at some time in our lives. Whether you be married now, engaged, or far from either just yet, read this and remember it in your daily walks of life.

Covenant

Marriage Restoration

DOES GOD REALLY CONSIDER MARRIAGE
TO BE A COVENANT RELATIONSHIP?

Let’s look at this from the Word . . .

In Proverbs there is a reference which appear to relate to the covenant of marriage, Solomon writing that …

Quote: “…wisdomwill enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul.Discretion will guard you. Understanding will watch over you, todeliver you from the way of evil, from the man who speaks perversethings; from those who leave the paths of uprightness, to walk in theways of darkness, who delight in doing evil, and rejoice in theperversity of evil, whose paths are crooked, and who are devious intheir ways, to deliver you from the strange woman, from the adulteresswho flatters with her words that leaves the companion of her youth, andforgets the covenant (beriyth) of her God… (Proverbs 2:10-17)

Althoughone might interpret “forgets the covenant of her God” as a reference tothe Mosaic covenant with its prohibition against adultery (Ex 20:14),the context favors that this statement is a reference to the marriagecovenant of the adulteress.

Dr. John MacArthur for example comments that…

Quote: Ina wide sense this could be the covenant of Sinai (Ex 20:14), butspecifically looks to the marriage covenant of Genesis 2:24, with itscommitment to fidelity.” (MacArthur, J. J. The MacArthur Study Bible.Nashville: Word Pub)

Godconsiders marriage to be a covenant relationship. Furthermore marriageis a God-sealed Covenant for in (Mark 10:8-9) Jesus teaches that GodHimself joins the husband and the wife together.

Quote: “ANDTHE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH; consequently they are no longer two,but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together (suzeugnumi yokedtogether as oxen and so coupled together as a team), let no manseparate (put space between, isolate one from the other).”

Theverb joined together is in the aorist tense which speaks of a definitecompleted action (in context in the past) and active voice indicates He(God) actually did this! This is a mystery but it is truth.

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Ina parallel passage which also emphasizes the truth that God considersmarriage to be a covenant, the prophet Malachi explains to his Jewishaudience why Jehovah was paying no attention and taking no pleasure intheir offerings, writing…

Quote: “Yetyou say, ‘For what reason?’ Because Jehovah has been a witness (thusGod is able to speak of their violation of covenant since He hadwitnessed their matrimonial pledges of mutual loyalty) between you andthe wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously,though she is your companion (this Hebrew word is derived from the roothabar meaning to fasten together, to join together or to unite and incontext implies harmony and working together to achieve life’s goalswhile sharing the hardships, pain and joys; LXX = koinonos = derivedfrom koinos which means that which is in common or shared by all.Koinonos thus describes one who participates with another in anenterprise or matter of joint concern!) and your wife by covenant(beriyth = a serious, solemn, binding oath).” (Mal 2:14)

God goes on to add…

Quote: “Ihate divorce,” says the LORD, the God of Israel, “and him who covershis garment with wrong,” says the LORD of hosts. “So take heed to yourspirit, that you do not deal treacherously.” (Mal 2:16)

The same verse in the Amplified translation reads…

Quote: “Yetyou ask, ‘Why does He reject it?’ Because the Lord was witness [to thecovenant made at your marriage] between you and the wife of your youth,against whom you have dealt treacherously (this verb conveys the ideaof unfaithfulness in relationships like marriage, as in Jer 3:20) andto whom you were faithless. Yet she is your companion and the wife ofyour covenant [made by your marriage vows].”

Sowhy did God reject Israel’s “worship” as “worthless”? In this contextit was because they had not been faithful to their marriage covenant!Is God serious about the covenant of marriage! The tragedy is thattoday so many view marriage as a contract, (a business arrangement forthe supply of goods or services at a fixed price: Merriam-Webster) notas a covenant founded on Biblical principles. If the contract does notwork out, the parties involved mutually agree to terminate theagreement and go their separate ways, and a divorce ensues. TimeMagazine had an article in 1993 stating that it was easier in theUnited States to walk away from a marriage than from a commitment topurchase a used car! This is a tragic statement! Most contracts cannotbe unilaterally abrogated, but marriages in open minded America can beterminated by practically anyone at any time, and without cause.

John MacArthur comments that this verse in Malachi

Quote: “accentuatedthe iniquity (of violating their marriage vows) by mentioning thelegally binding nature of the marriage contract, a covenant made beforeGod as Witness.” (The MacArthur Study Bible. Nashville: Word Pub)

Thomas Constable adds that

Quote: “Themarriage relationship is a covenant relationship, and those who breaktheir vows should not expect God to bless them. God Himself acted as awitness when the couple made their covenant of marriage in theiryouth.” (Constable’s Expository Notes on the Bible)

R C Sproul adds that…

Quote: Marriagesare our closest human relationships and should emulate most nearly ourfellowship with God. The rise and fall of marriage in a society acts asa barometer by which to measure the godliness of that culture…

Marriageis a covenant. This is the keystone of the analogy Paul makes inEphesians 5 between earthly marriage and the relationship betweenChrist and the church. The bond between Jesus and His bride forms theNew Covenant, the spiritual reality of which human marriages are atype. Malachi 2:14 explicitly makes the connection between marriage andcovenant. But what does that mean? We should consider several aspectsof a covenant.

First, a covenant establishes a bond betweentwo parties, in this case the husband and wife. At the heart of thisbond is a promise, the promise of faithfulness.

Second, acovenant establishes obligations. A primary obligation in marriage isfidelity. The husband is obligated to lead his wife in love, and she isobligated to submit to him in the fear of the Lord.

Third, acovenant is public. It is contracted before witnesses. There is a greatdifference between the whispered pledges of a boy in the back seat of acar and the solemn vows of a young man before God and witnesses in theceremony of holy matrimony. This public character of the covenant meansthat marriage is a social institution that society has an interest inpreserving. As an institution, marriage is regulated by the Word ofGod. That the marriage covenant is not simply a private affair becomesclear when we consider divorce. Divorce wrecks the lives of children.Divorce destroys peace of mind and damages the effectiveness ofemployees. Divorce upsets friends and family. For Christians, anungodly divorce forces the elders of the church to exercise discipline.Marriage is the closest possible relationship between two depravedhuman beings. Thus, marriage is potentially a wonder of grace or thescene of intense pain.”

Sproul adds that

Quote: “peopleare no longer familiar with the nature of covenants. Covenantsestablish relationships publicly and create accountability. If twopeople are simply living together, either partner may abandon the otherwithout accountability. The covenant involves a promise to obey God andto be faithful—and also involves a curse: May God judge me if I breakthis pledge. People avoid the covenant of marriage because they want tohave irresponsible relationships, but such relationships are hazardousto human life. God has created us so that we blossom as human beingswhen we conform to God’s covenantal structures. When we liveirresponsibly, we destroy ourselves and others…Living by covenants isGod’s method to anchor our lives and provide security against theprevailing cultural disintegration. (Sproul, R C: Vol. 4: Before theFace of God: Book Four: Grand Rapids: Baker Book House; LigonierMinistries)

Jack Hayford has an interesting comment on Malachi 2:14 writing that…

Quote: GodBacks Up the Covenant of Marriage (Mal 2:13,14,16). When two peoplemarry, God stands as a witness to the marriage, sealing it with thestrongest possible word: covenant.

“Covenant”speaks of faithfulness and enduring commitment. It (the covenant ofmarriage) stands like a divine sentinel over marriage, for blessing orfor judgment. Divorce is here (Mal 2:13,14,16) described as violence.To initiate divorce does violence to God’s intention for marriage andto the mate to whom one has been joined. Yet, where husband and wifelive according to their marriage vows, all the power of acovenant-keeping God stands behind them and their marriage. What aconfidence, to know that God backs up our marriage. His power andauthority stand against every enemy that would violently threaten itfrom without or within.” (Hayford, J. W., Hayford’s Bible handbook.Nashville: Thomas Nelson Publishers)

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InIsaiah God addresses faithless Israel, figuratively portraying her asHis wife with whom He had a covenant relationship. Note the languageindicating God’s commitment to His “marriage vows”. Jehovah declares…

Quote: “Foryour husband (Hebrew = baal = marry, have dominion, or to rule over) isyour Maker, Whose name is the LORD of hosts; and your Redeemer is theHoly One of Israel, Who is called the God of all the earth. For theLORD has called you (Israel), like a wife forsaken and grieved inspirit, even like a wife of one’s youth when she is rejected,” Saysyour God. “For a brief moment I forsook you, but with great compassionI will gather you (the final fulfillment of this promise will be at theoutset of the Millennial reign of Christ). In an outburst of anger Ihid My face from you for a moment; but with everlasting lovingkindness(Hebrew word “hesed” which is loyal, steadfast love of covenant) I willhave compassion on you,” says the LORD your Redeemer. “For this is likethe days of Noah to Me (referring to the unconditional promise to notagain destroy the earth with water. This promise has been kept and is atestimony to God’s faithfulness to keep covenant), when I swore thatthe waters of Noah should not flood the earth again, so I have swornthat I will not be angry with you, nor will I rebuke you (so just asGod has kept His promise in covenant with Noah, so too He will keep Hispromises to His “wife” Israel). For the mountains may be removed andthe hills may shake, but My lovingkindness (hesed – loyal love) willnot be removed from you, and My covenant of peace (referring to the NewCovenant described in Jeremiah 31:31-37) will not be shaken,” says theLORD who has compassion on you.” (Isaiah 54:5-10)

Isaiah tells us that the Lord will regather Israel the way a man would take back his wife.

Commenting on this passage, J Vernon McGee writes that

Quote: “Ifyou feel that God is going to break His covenant which He made withAbraham, Isaiah would have you know that you are wrong. God will notbreak His covenant; He will never break it.” (McGee, J. V. Thru theBible commentary. Nashville: Thomas Nelson)

In Jeremiah we again see God referring to His covenant relationship with Judah in terms of marriage…

Quote: “Behold,days are coming,” declares the LORD, “when I will make a New Covenantwith the house of Israel and with the house of Judah, not like thecovenant which I made with their fathers in the day I took them by thehand to bring them out of the land of Egypt (the Mosaic or OldCovenant), My covenant which they broke, although I was a husband tothem,” declares the LORD.” (Jeremiah 31:31-32)

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InEzekiel 16 we again see the picture of the covenant of marriage (readthe entire chapter – Ezekiel 16 – to see the depths to which Israelsunk in breaking the Mosaic covenant they had agreed to obey, Ex 19:8),where God reminds Jerusalem (representative of the nation of Israel) oftheir betrothal, declaring

Quote: “Ipassed by you and saw you, and behold, you were at the time for love(refers to the marriageable state); so I spread My skirt (Hebrew =kanap = common noun for a wing, the skirt or corner of a garment andconveys idea of to cover) over you and covered your nakedness. I alsoswore to you and entered into a covenant (referring to Mosaic or OldCovenant) with you so that you became Mine.” declares the Lord GOD.”(Ezekiel 16:8)

Thisverse describes God’s betrothal to Jerusalem and their covenant ofmarriage. The spreading of one’s garment over the other party was asymbol of a betrothal. Notice who the nation of Israel belonged toafter entering into this covenant! We see the same picture in the bookof Ruth, during the night time encounter between Boaz and Ruth in theharvest field. Boaz is awakened by Ruth’s presence at his feet andsays…

Quote: “Whoare you?” And she answered, “I am Ruth your maid. So spread yourcovering (Hebrew = kanap = same word as in Ezekiel 16:8) over yourmaid, for you are a close relative (ga’al = a kinsman redeemer).”

Mostcommentators agree that the spreading a skirt over someone was acustomary way of committing to marry and to provide for someone in thatculture. A similar custom is still practiced in some parts of theMiddle East today.

In summary, from these Biblical examples,it becomes readily apparent that God considers marriage to be acovenant relationship. It behooves every saint therefore to understandthe significance of covenant. Most believers could name most of themajor covenants and add a variable number of “facts” concerning eachcovenant (e.g., conditional/unconditional, everlasting, etc) but mostchurch leaders and members fail to grasp the depth and profundity ofthe term “covenant” unless they have performed a serious study.

Andrew Murray adds that men made covenants, because they understood the there were advantages such…

Quote: Asan end of enmity or uncertainty, as a statement of services andbenefits to be rendered, as a security for their certain performance,as a bond of amity and goodwill, as a ground for perfect confidence andfriendship…So valuable was covenant, that they would cut them inblood!

“Covenant was above all to give man a hold upon God asthe Covenant-keeping God, to link him to God Himself in expectation andhope, to bring him to make God Himself Alone the portion and thestrength of His soul”

Murray concludes stating…

Quote: “Ifeel confident that if I can lead any to listen to what God has to sayto them of His Covenant, and to deal with Him as a Covenant God, itwill bring them strength and joy.”

Is there any doubt that marriage between two Christians is considered a covenant, binding, irrevocable, and eternal?

Does God join together, say, two athiests?

Godwill NOT join himself to unbelievers. A marriage between twounbelievers is simply a legal contract and not a covenant. The termcovenant may be used, but the covenantal promises and provisions arenonexistent.

This is a difficult question because there are manyvariables. But from what we can discern from the Word of God, twounbelievers can be married in the eyes of man, but no true covenantexist. If one becomes a believer after marriage, then God binds himselfwith the believer in the new covenant of His love through the new birthand will use the obedient believer to win the unbeliever to make thecovenant three-fold.

I believe this is what 1 Cor 7:12-20 isreferring to — the believer being in covenant relationship with Godand thereby sanctifying the unbeliever:

Quote: 12To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife whois not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must notdivorce her. 13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer andhe is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 Forthe unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and theunbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband.Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man orwoman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live inpeace. 16 How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband?Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? 17Nevertheless, each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has called him.This is the rule I lay down in all the churches. 18 Was a man alreadycircumcised when he was called? He should not become uncircumcised. Wasa man uncircumcised when he was called? He should not be circumcised.19 Circumcision is nothing and uncircumcision is nothing. Keeping God’scommands is what counts. 20 Each one should remain in the situation which he was in when God called him.

Weneed to take the whole counsel of the Word here. Verse 20 spells it out– “Each one should remain in the situation which he was in when Godcalled him”. As I understand this, it goes on to say if you were aslave, be a slave; if you were free, continue to be free. In otherwords, if you were married, continue to be married . . . because “Howdo you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do youknow, husband, whether you will save your wife?” (v. 16)

Rememberthat covenant includes blood . . . in the New Covenant, the blood isthe blood of Christ. There can be no covenant with God without theblood of Christ. When one spouse becomes saved, the blood of Christenters into the relationship and covenant is cut.

The Lord islooking for those who will join themselves to Him in covenant. Theythat dwell in love, dwell in God, and God in them. All it takes is oneand God is there making covenant with them!

How do we know when we’re in covenant relationship?

Ifyou’re a Christian and you’re married, you’re in covenant relationshipwith your husband and God, even if your husband is an unbeliever. It isGod who initiates covenant, it is He who sets the conditions forcovenant, and it is He who pays the price for covenant. Our role is tolive in agreement with His conditions for covenant which Paul prettymuch outlined in 1 Cor 7 above.

Another interesting note is thatthe Hebrew word for “covenant” is “beriyth”. Actually, tucked withinthe translation of this word is a reference to “determination”. Inother words, God is DETERMINED to keep covenant! That’s why you feelthe call to stand for your marriage — God is DETERMINED that thecovenant relationship between you and Him and your husband cannot andwill not fail except by our (the Christian spouse) sheer disobedience.

Youknow, that’s exciting to me! When we give our hearts to the Lord, weare in covenant relationship with Him and He is DETERMINED to keepcovenant with us! That’s why He can say, “I’ll never leave you norforsake you!”

Our God is a covenant-keeping God! Hallelujah!!!!!

Ifwe were not saved when we married and then got saved afterward, theblood covenant for salvation also includes the marriage — EVERYTHINGis redeemed and our sins are cleansed by the blood of Christ. We arebound by covenant. God can and sometimes does sovereignly release usfrom that covenant if He knows, in His omniscience, that our covenantspouse will never repent or return. However, if God has not released usand has called us to stand bound to that covenant, we know that He hasonly victory in sight for us.

There are some cultures whobelieve so strongly in the marriage covenant that instead of using aring to signify the eternal love and faithfulness of their covenantpromises, they actually either cut their left ring finger where thering should be or they wear an irritant so that there is an unremovablescar on that finger in place of the ring. To them there are novariables — marriage is forever.

We (in our modern-day culture)have a hard time fathoming a forever-anything, let alone a forevercovenant relationship with a spouse who is not the young pretty thingthey married 20 years later. The lust of the flesh and the pride oflife have turned the hearts and souls of people outside the covenantrelationship to seek another to satisfy their flesh. Sadly, thishappens even in Christian marriages.

Whatever thecircumstances, remember that God is a restorer of those things theenemy has torn apart. God is a healer and a mender of the ravages ofthe enemy. God is ALWAYS able to put the pieces back together again andmake the vessels new — as though they had never broken. All it takesis a heart willing to believe Him and obey Him!

For theChristian there is never an excuse to break a covenant. The enemy willoften have us question whether or not we’ve been called to stand for atroubled marriage. Standers KNOW they’ve been called — they know thatthey know that they know! For them to give up their stand for theircovenant marriage would be disobedience and sin.

Trust God foryour marriages! It’s more than just a legal agreement to live togetheror a license to have sex! Marriage is the most important relationshipbetween a man and a woman — it’s one of the most importantrelationships in the mind of God to reveal to us the mysteryrelationship between Christ and the Church. Can you see why the enemydoes so much to tear marriages apart?

If you’re struggling in your marriage, please join us in our Marriage & Family Forumwhere you will find others standing for their marriages ready andwilling to encourage you, pray for you, and help you through the roughtimes!