08.24.06
Doreen’s Daily 8-24-06
Your Spouse Is NOT Your Enemy…
Have you ever wondered who caused your spouse to walk away? Satan
binds people’s minds. He diverts their attention by instilling
wrong values and priorities into their minds; by suggesting to their
minds selfish reasons to reject the truth. He does this in the
following ways: by contrary suggestions, by argument of others, by
social pressures and distractions, and by a huge arsenal of other
weapons that he has to direct against people’s thinking.
From 1 Timothy 3:6-7, and also 2 Corinthians 2:10-11, we learn that
some of satan’s traps are pride, a bad reputation, lust of the flesh,
rebellion, and an unforgiving attitude. Some or all of these traits
will show up in your wayward spouse.
It is important that we correctly and thoroughly understand satan’s
control over people who are affected by him. Your spouse is not your
enemy; he or she has been deceived by satan. He does this in various
ways and to varying degrees, including: oppression, obsession, and
possession. Here again, almost all of satan’s influence over people
is actually exerted by demons, not by satan personally although it is
still satan’s work and he is responsible for instigating and leading
it.
So how has satan been working in your spouse’s life? One of the most
familiar and successful tactics is temptation. He is repeatedly
referred to as the tempter. He has tempted and deceived your spouse,
and if you are not careful he will do the same to you.
As believers, we must put on the whole armor of God, including
picking up the shield of faith, by which we will quench all the
flaming darts of the wicked one (Ephesians 6:10). We are instructed
to resist satan. We do not have to defeat him, Jesus already did
that.
The enemy has been working in your spouse through disobedience and
rebellion. Wittingly or otherwise, he or she does what satan wants
him or her to do. He knows how to manipulate them through their
personal desires, ideas, prejudices, and ignorance. He is "the ruler
of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who
are disobedient" (Ephesians 2:2 NIV).
Who would have ever thought that your spouse, this same loving spouse
who proposed to you or accepted your proposal and made those vows,
would turn around, after all these years, saying they’ve made a
mistake; telling you they don’t love you anymore, saying they want a
divorce, telling you to get on with your life and that you need to
start dating, saying "I am in love with someone else," etc. Who
would have ever thought your spouse would be saying these things?
Your spouse said these things because YOUR SPOUSE HAS BEEN DECEIVED
BY THE ENEMY!
Satan is the wicked one in Matthew 13:19. In verse 23 and 28 he is
identified as the enemy. Bear in mind your spouse is not your enemy.
The enemy is called the adversary, the devil. Jesus called him a
liar and a murderer (John 8:44). He is the arch-deceiver and has
lied to your spouse.
To resist satan, we must "be sober; be vigilant" (1 Pet. 5:8). If we
are careless, we will not successfully resist the devil. Verse 9
urges us to resist him "steadfast in faith." "The faith" is a
definite, revealed body of truth to be believed and lived. It is the
truth of God’s word.
My friends, if your spouse has walked out on you, this is enough
evidence that he or she is under the control of satan. We have been
praying for them to be set free from this evil. Paul declared that
God had sent him to declare the good news to the nations. "To open
their eyes, and to turn them from darkness to light, and from the
power of satan unto God, that they may return to their vows and
receive forgiveness of sins." (Acts 26:18).
This is what we have been praying for. These prodigals are like
drunken men sleeping on the railroad tracks. Suddenly they wake up,
feel the ground vibrating under them, look up and in horror see the
locomotive bearing down on them. Immediately they jump up and dive
out of the way.
It is the same with these wayward spouses. Suddenly, their eyes will
open and they will return to their covenant spouse. Yes, they will
return, because greater is He who is in you, than he that is in the
world.
Finally, in spite of the power and authority that these wayward ones
give satan by yielding their obedience to him, he is a defeated foe!
DO not delay my friends, keep praying, DON’T GIVE UP. Marriages are
being restored. Get yourself ready, prepare yourselves, because
suddenly your spouse will awake from his or her stupor and will
return to you. Because, my friends, no weapon that is formed against
you will prosper. If God be for you, tell me, who can be against
you? Tell me, who?!
Be encouraged
Pastor Doreen
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Harold said,
October 14, 2006 at 12:48 pm
I read with intensity your article “your Spouse Is Not Your Enemy”. My wife Has said the exact phrases you described: (saying they’ve made a
mistake; telling you they don’t love you anymore, saying they want a
divorce, telling you to get on with your life and that you need to
start dating, saying “I am in love with someone else,” etc.). Of course I am heartbroken,and I feel at times hopeless. Thanks for the inspirational thoughts. You have shown me that I am on the right track. So I will continue to pray and not give up on her. I will also agree to let the lord take as much control as he needs to rectify the situation. Harold
tom said,
January 5, 2007 at 10:03 am
Please pray for me today. I have a mediation meeting with my wife and her attorney over financial issues in 5 ½ hours. I’m praying that the Lord’s Holy Spirit shine through me in a way that my wife can see. That He make her question her decision and know that He hates divorce. That the wonderful work He began in me 6 months ago will continue until I see Him and He perfects His work. That she know that the joy and peace of the Lord is meant for the two of us together and that what He has joined together let no man separate. I need Him to give me the words that He would have me say and bind the power of the enemy from the meeting as well as binding my tongue from saying anything not from Him. Many of our problems have already worked themselves out over the last 6 months and I believe this has happened through prayer and prayer alone. I want us to live for Him and have our marriage restored. And that she be saved and find Him. I will continue to serve Him no matter the outcome, but I believe saving my marriage and my wife is His Will so in that I pray. In Jesus Name, Amen.
deargod said,
January 10, 2007 at 5:21 pm
Harold, hold to the LORD as HE fights your battles for you. Continue to pray for your wife and know that I will be praying for you and your marriage as well. Stay in touch and GOD bless you and yours.
deargod said,
January 10, 2007 at 5:31 pm
Hi Tom. How did the meeting go? Know that I am praying with and for you and your wife. I pray GOD uses you and that through you she sees that light shining and is able to feel the warmth of the presense of our LORD GOD ALMIGHTY as it radiates from you and after feeling HIM through you she then has a longing for GOD’s SWEET HOLY SPIRIT to then also be a part of herself as well. I pray that she sees that GOD hates divorce and therefore it is not the answer. And I pray for your strength and faith to be strong as you [ress on through this trial. Remember every trial that the LORD above allows us to go through is for a reason and a season. I’ll be praying for you and please remember me and mine in your prayers as well. In Jesus Christ’s Holy Holy Name I pray. Amen, and Amen.
Iris said,
January 16, 2007 at 9:37 pm
This is the first time I’ve come across this sight.I just read the article”your spouse is not your enemy”,it felt as though you had been living in my home,looking into my heart.My husband and I have been separated for 2 months,I reluctantly signed the divorce papers.We have 2 young children that miss their father as do I.I forgave him for his adultery the moment he told me,however I have to admit after being misled for months,it was truly difficult to forgive the second affair.It broke my heart to leave home and see our children cry,the lack of respect and compassion and love truly made things unbearable.Tomorrow will be 60 days since he filed for the divorce,and I found out today that a court date hasn’t been set.I pray that God will restore our marriage and that it is his will for us to reconcile.One of the hardest things for me besides seeing him is trying to understand his bitterness and anger toward me and his unwillingness to consider counseling and reconciliation for us and our family.I am trying so hard to be strong for our children,but it’s so hard trying to explain why we don’t live with daddy anymore.Please keep us in your prayers.I haven’t given up hope and see the lack of a court date to mean that God’s work is not complet as to our marriage and if it’s God’s will for this marriage to end because of another blessing he has in store then I welcome that as well.Thanks,Iris.
Tom said,
February 17, 2007 at 11:56 pm
Hi deargod,
Sorry to not get back sooner, so much has happened. So far the divorce continues forward. In fact this coming Wednesday the 21st is the date for the final hearing. I asked for an extension because my mom was given 24-36 hours to live on Feb 4th. She recovered anyway even though she refused treatment. And I know it’s because my prayer partners all over the world joined in for days and she finally decided to fight. I was even able to pray with her and hear her accept Jesus on the day the doctors said she would die.
But the date was not changed. My wife and her attorney objected to a delay and my wife never once attempted to find out how my mom was. And the judge agreed to no postponment. Can anyone see that and not see the presence of the enemy as well? This will be my wife’s 4th divorce, the 3rd her 15 year old son has been through since he was 5. Again, isn’t that a work of the enemy? Certainly not something from the God I pray to all day. Even if the divorce goes through I will leave my ring on, I’m married no matter what in my eyes and more importantly in the eyes of the Lord. I keep hearing Him tell me there are still mountains to move. Maybe one of those is this cursed marriage. Then, when we’re both new in Him we can remarry and live for Him together from the 1st day. I really don’t know, He hasn’t revealed His plan to me. But I have faith that it’s for the good, all of His are. I have really been encouraged by Doreen’s Daily Delights and I have begun this month to put my money where my mouth and my heart are by sending a donation to Doreen. Her ministry is helping so many see the Lord’s will in marriage, including me. And so I will stand and remain faithful to God and my marriage until His work is complete in both of us and we can be man and wife again as He intends. And at that meeting in January I was able to speak to my wife for about 2 minutes, the only communication that has passed between us in the 7+ months of separation. I was able to tell my wife I had turned my life over to God. I had prayed for hours for that chance and He gave it to me. It has not resulted in anything that I have seen, but I know He gave me the time and words to say what He wanted said in order to plant the seed for restoration. My friends think I’m crazy for believing this, but I know Him and He would not have given me false hope. I can’t see what He’s doing, so I’m going on faith that He is at work. I remain in prayer, fasting and His Word. I am also actively involved in a marriage reconciliation ministry on-line who’s members also get a lot out of Doreen’s messages. And I look forward to sharing this all with my wife, especially Him. If anyone is interested in joining our group for prayer, fasting and Godly encouragement in your own stand let me know. I promise I will return more often to see if anyone has posted an inquiry. In the meantime, keep reading Doreen’s messages, I hear God speaking in her words because she uses His words. And those are something we all need more of.
In Christ,
Tom
ServantK said,
July 14, 2007 at 6:43 am
Thank you Doreen. I receive your message everyday through my email subscription. Your ministry and words have saved me from doing some stupid things. I have thought about ending it all, or walking away. Your words and teachings usually redirect and comfort me.
It is days like today when I find things so difficult. I have been trying to stay away from bad things and thoughts and keep my eyes on God. My prodigal has been on this path for over two years in what I believe is a midlife crisis. I know some of this is chemical, but it is evident she is controlled by the tempter. She lives in the same house, but continues to separate herself from me, to the point I am a non-entity or worthless to her and the children. I know she does believe in God, but she seems to be continuing her walk away from me, while serving Him.
I know, or feel when she is in church, she is praying against me, or for her escape or prince charming. She has had what I think are only emotional affairs. She moved to another room and no longer sleeps with me. Yes, I have been depressed, even to the point where I lost my job over it; frozen to the point of being ineffective. I have even strayed emotionally, and my tendency is to think beyond this, and that my life would be better without her. I have come back again, and set my eyes on God.
I believe, trust and keep my eyes on him
I become frustrating because I see nothing
I fall away
I feel guilty and realize again God is the only path, and go back to believing.
I know the scriptures say to lean not on my own understanding, but trust in the Lord. But, I thought I would see some movement by now. I thought God would have done something in this situation.I read scripture the other day in Romans 9, where God is the potter and we are the clay. Some clay he designs for good noble things, and some for not so noble things. Perhaps I was designed for the not so noble, and I will never get my prodigal back. Perhaps, as Paul noted about himself, God feels the only way for me to remain close to him is to endure this without solution. For with the solution I will not be as faithful or true to him.
I know He loves me, more than I can understand. But, perhaps, I can only serve him without receiving what I want, or think I need. I used to think restoration and healing of my marriage was God’s will. I am not so sure anymore, for I thought He would act by now.
Tracey said,
September 8, 2007 at 10:22 am
Tom, I am interested in your on-line marriage reconciliation ministry. Can you give me more information please?
Michele said,
September 25, 2008 at 1:37 pm
HI,
I’m addressing Tom and his standing for his marriage. I’m amazed that you are standing for a woman who has been divorced 3 times already. This marriage is not covenant. I don’t know if it’s your first, but depending on this woman’s reasons for previous divorces, you may be in adultery with her anyway. Sorry, but the word says, Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery; whoever marries she who is divorced commits adultery. It sounds like you really love her. Just wondering if you are keeping these scriptures in mind.
Donncha said,
October 28, 2009 at 8:21 am
blah blah